ate karess

i have two younger siblings from my father. their names and ages are abigail, eight years old, and jose maria the fourth, four years old. i first met them when i first went to baguio july of last year. i initially found them to be the pesky, annoying, KSP-type--then again you know how these things typically are.

admittedly i am the typical bunso, and you know how bunsos operate. they're spoiled, used to getting their way, and used to getting all the attention, aside from being affectionate and happy-go-lucky. so being ever-so-typically bunso (not to mention immature), i resented a lot of things. sure, the kids are faultless, but i hated them for no clear reason.

i rememberan incident on how my insecurity was manifested. the first one was the first time abby and i met each other. it was the morning after i arrived from manila, and abby and i were downstairs having breakfast. my older sisters and i call our pop "daddy," but abby and max address him as "papa." so abbey was clearly perplexed (and i think at that point still unaware of our existence) for the name i called our father.

"bakit daddy yung tawag mo sa kanya?" abby asked, with all the innocence of seven-year-olds.

"eh daddy ko siya eh," was my snide, sarcasm-infused reply. it was short of saying that "hey, little girl, he is MY daddy, no matter what."

i have been to baguio from last weekend and somehow had a POV shift. of course the ilang was ever-present, but kids are evidently unaware of complications like these. abby and max flocked to kat and i, their older sisters. the last time i went to baguio was christmastime, and in spite of all my wicked stepsister shenanigans, the kids were still...nice. abby was still as sweet and affectionate (and LOUD) as ever. max, who had started school this year, had developed the habit of speaking english, which was funny and endearing.

i don't know what brought on this change, but i feel so much better about them now. i was with them for three days. i realized that i had ate potential, and that you could occasionally use sarcasm to scold your younger kin, just like what teena does. i even prepared max's bedtime milk. woah.

so there. being an older sister isn't all that it's cracked up to be. i just need more lessons in that department, though.

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oh and you wanna know something cool? i'm the middlest-middle kid now.