free

we feel freedom when our emotions are free.

our souls crave for intimacy, passion, romance, affection,
relationships. we tend to find these things in all the hollow, empty
places. in people, objects, and circumstances that we may feel would
complete us, would make us whole. we never realize they are hollow and
empty until we end up being failed, cheated on, hopelessly addicted;
our hearts broken, crushed, spat on, trampled to the ground.

so we put up walls. walls around our hearts designed to keep ourselves
from getting hurt. emotion is weakness, we boldly declare, chin high;
indulging in another cigarette, another warm body, another bottle,
another toke. it may take another form: another award, another medal,
another extra-curricular activity, another peso earned. we think that
as long as we're in our cozy little nook of self-protection, we're
okay.

and then we realize that there's something empty, missing. like
there's this big black void in the middle of our chests wanting to be
filled. that in spite of everything we ever wanted, and more, we're
incomplete. we're at the absolute end of our rope, already on the road
to complete destruction, to the highway of no return…

and then he knocks at the door of your heart and asks you, very gently,

"child, may i come in?"

you're taken aback, not expecting such an introduction. questions
flood your mind. "who is this? where did this come from? how did
he…?" you open the door a crack, instinctively blocking the intrusion.
the glimmer of light almost blinds you; you cover your eyes, not used
to the bright. you blink and realize that the light wasn't so blinding
at all.

you open the door and he stands in front of you. you can't explain it.
you try to figure it out, more questions want to be asked, but
somehow, somehow…you give in. the answers are not needed.

what is important is the here and the now. this moment.

there's a gentle tug at your heart as he touches your face gently. you
ask if this is still real. you're amazed at the gentleness that you
never knew existed. the gentleness that you've always wanted but never
seemed to have.

peace. it was a word alien to you. it was something you deemed
impossible, daunting; laughable, even. yet it was present at that
very moment, at that such time. the creases smoothed out, the rough
corners smoothened. the heart of stone was turning into a heart of
flesh.

it was more than peace. it was love.

so this is what love is like, you surmise. after searching for it so
ardently, so arduously, it found you. it found its way to you. you
look up and see the face gazing tenderly at yours. you couldn't
imagine how those eyes could stand seeing your form, your hardened
features, the bruises outside and in.

but they were. looking at you with such love. like you were this
prized work of art. and you felt like you were never hurt, addicted,
inflicted pain. it was intoxicating, only the rush wasn't fake, wasn't
bound to fade and make you hit the ground head-first. it was…

amazing.

it was at that moment you knew, you were confident, your mind and
heart and soul agreed that you needed him to be whole. it wasn't going
to be about you. it was going to be him. he would fix you more than
you could ever imagined.

and as cheesy as you know it would sound, you know that your life
would never be the same again. love and peace and joy seemed so alien,
until now.

now, that you have everything you ever needed…

you are free.

seriously, this time

http://karessrubrico.wordpress.com

the resignation FAQ's

funny how "bitin" things always keep us asking for more. haha. that was not my intention, though. while i blogged my previous entry, i was writing my resignation letter and i didn't really want to wax poetic and all that. so here goes.. the (short and sweet) answers to your questiions :)

1. why?

the most asked question there is. all i can say is, i got a better offer.  it's so waaaay better, it was too good to pass up. i'd rather share the details when i meet up with you. okay, fine, let's just say that i'll get to work in the daytime.  don't worry, i have prayed about it and thought about it. i didn't just do it impulsively.

2. are you going back to school?
no.not yet. but i will be. the new job will be much help for me to do that, in more ways than one.

3. are you pursuing full-time ministry?
*rolleyes* nope. i would love to, but if i'm called to go, i will. if i'm not, i'm not. simple.

4. burger! burger!
sure! first person to reply gets one.

i'm resigning

(details to follow)

let's play some ball!

DLSU versus ADMU.
today.
4PM at the araneta.


ANIMO LA SALLE!!!

the day's almost over

for me, at least. work's almost done. i have a whole afternoon free
and i'm in the mood to do something productive.

lorie gave me her old Message bible last night, and i am seriously
LOVING it. thank you, lorie!! :D it's like, major coolness. you'd
never think that the bible would be written so "informally" and still
remain the insightful, inspiring, amazing book that it is. my hat's
off to you, eugene peterson. you raaakk!!

...which means, i will have to cancel that bible i asked my best
friend to buy me. she just left for the US tuesday, and i asked her to
buy me a pink Message bible. aptly enough lorie gave me hers. so bei,
you won't have to buy me one na. something else na lang :) i miss you
na!

rock enrolled was real swell. i never had time to write about it
because everyone else did :P and lots of people posted photos. kudos
to pastor armin, the mastermind! galing talaga!! :D

fifteen minutes till work's over. hmm. yehey, i have a new book to indulge in :)

enjoy the rest of your day!